Yellow food is limited to bananas and Twinkies. So you can understand my distrust of the sandwich that was placed before me.
Typical looking enough, square bread but inside was a bright yellow filling that my little kid brain just couldn't recognize.
My sister was the architect of this sandwich so I was somewhat trusting. My sister is much older than me, so much so that people often thought I was her son, and she watched me quite a bit when I was young. My brother on the other hand was a douche bag and still is to this day, if he made lunch I could guarantee it was filled with paint or asbestos or god only knows what.
Anyway I'm trying to figure out exactly what this thing is when my dear sister uses a cheap shot to make me try it out.
"Eat it, you'll like it. Spider Man eats this all the time."
"No way!" I thought to myself. I may not have known what is in it, but for an eight year old boy there is NO greater endorsement than one from Spider Man.
I took a bite...
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I think you should know my mother was one of those career dieters. A fat woman always on some weight loss plan or another, yet was always fat. I bring this up because the recipe for this culinary disaster had to have come from Weight Watchers or one of those types of things. Explaining why my brain didn't recognize what it was about to eat.
It was tuna fish with mustard!
No mayo, yellow mustard.
Fuck me; there is no worse mix of food than this. I lack the literary skill to properly explain what it tastes like but if you can assign a taste to the look on your face when you just read "tuna fish with mustard", it tastes like that.
Needless to say there was an erosion of trust between me and my sister, and a realization that my mother was too lazy to go buy mayonnaise.
For the record, I don't blame Spidey for this.
nor for whatever the hell is going on in the picture below.
rating: 13
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