It was a cold rain, the kind in late September where if the elements aligned only slightly differently would result in snow. I didn't care as walked in the fog of my own mind. At least with the weather I wouldn't have to worry about running into anyone else; and the rain was good for hiding tears should they come. Maybe this was all for nothing. Maybe I was just holding myself back. Maybe it was time to let go.
I came around a bend and saw someone out in the distance. A girl stood atop a small hill with her back to the river, gazing upon the city. She wore a simple yellow dress printed with red flowers. Her dark hair caressed her shoulders and framed her slender neck that flowed into the smooth skin above her chest revealed by the low cut of the dress; her skin still holding onto a golden tan as if it were the height of July. Her only concession to the elements was a tall, clear, bell shaped umbrella with red ring around the edge. She always refused to let go of the summer until the last possible minute.
Wait a minute! I sprinted down the path, nearly spinning out in the mud a few times. I didn't care. I was chasing a dream and I refused to let it get away this time. I slid to a halt at the base of the hill. It stood only as tall as I and yet might as well have been Everest. I gazed at her face upon high. At first she looked scared. With widening eyes she looked around as if to see if anyone was watching. Then her faced relaxed and her gaze met mine. She smiled that crooked smile from the corner of her mouth and came down the hill to stand before me. I reached out and grasped the hand that held the umbrella in a movement that felt more like home than any I had known for a long, long time.
She threw her other arm around my neck as I grasped her waist with my other. We stood in that warm embrace as if we were dancing; and maybe we were. We did rock gently back and forth in time to the beat of the music that poured forth from my heart. The rest of the world fell away and we stood inside our love; a little pocket dimension apart from the rest of the world. I felt so alive that I knew I must be dreaming for I had been dead inside for so long. But after a time I pulled back and still she was there.
"I don't understand," I said. "How did you?" But she put her finger on my lips. I nodded and kissed that hand before I took it in mine. We walked off towards the city as the rain stopped. After a few blocks we came to our coffee shop. The barista did not seem to think it was at all strange for us to be there. I ordered my giant coffee and she got her usual concoction involving whipped cream and syrup and god knows what else. And then we talked.
We talked about the old days. She asked if I had been back to Lake House where we used to go in the summer, thinking about the one year we got caught in the rain while deep out on the trails and took shelter in that small cave high on the hill over the river. We talked about the month we spent in Paris and about how we walked along the stone paths by the river Seine just like we did by our river here. She asked if I remembered the night we discovered the band Explosions in the Sky and how we laid pretzeled on the couch listening to it over and over. We talked and talked and talked, always about old times but never about her.
After a few hours, we went back to the river. The ground had dried fairly well and we walked down to our bench by the little stone bridge. We sat back and gazed skyward, the rain clouds having departed to reveal a clear night full of far more stars than one should see in the city. She asked how I had been doing, about work, about my family. She asked how our friends were doing. She asked so many questions yet answered none. At one point I finally worked up the nerve and asked her, point blank, where had she been all these years? She merely smiled and shook her head, rolled her eyes, and gave me that exasperated sigh as if she were patronizing a small child. Oh how that used to aggravate me so, but she used my moment of aggravation to change the subject.
I didn't care. I didn't care what we talked about. I didn't care if we talked at all. It was enough for me to simply behold her. To see her eyes sparkle as she recounted a story that was meant to tease me. To see her in reality and not just in my head. To hold her hand in mine and feel her pulse, her life, which restored mine with every beat of her heart. I honestly could not have cared about anything else in the world.
Well after midnight, she began to concede to the elements. She grew cold and we decided it was time to go. We walked to my apartment only a few blocks away. If it were anyone else, I would have been embarrassed to take her to my place. Our once beautiful home had become a crappy studio apartment that was all I could afford as I struggled to recover from a year of unemployment after everything happened. But in that moment, I didn't even care about the crappy pull out couch we were about to share and I knew she didn't either. In that moment, none of it mattered.
She entered my apartment without so much as a raised eyebrow. The bed was already pulled out from the couch and she kicked off her shoes and made herself at home on it as I lit some candles and put on some music. I went to join her on the bed as the soothing sounds of Saxon Shore came forth from my little Ipod speakers. I lay on my back and she curled up beside with her head on my arm and her arm and leg draped across me. I will never know how many hours passed as we lay there, just feeling the reality of each other. The thrill of touch, the breathing of each other's breath, the warmth and comfort of being exactly where you belong. After a time I began to close my eyes and she elbowed me in stomach. I looked down my nose at her as she gazed up at me with those big, round eyes.
"Are you sure," she asked?
"Yeah," was my whispered reply, knowing instinctively what she meant.
"Okay," she sighed. She gave me a smile I had never seen before. A bittersweet smile that is rich and full but just a little melancholy at the corners and with eyes that held that I know something you don't know look. She burrowed her face into my chest and squeezed me tight as I drifted off to sleep.
rating: 8
Users that liked this also liked...
 Paradise |  part time lover (POEM) |  pHpH Round #1: Paper Targets |  pH pH R3: The Final: "The Music Ends At MIdnight" |  Spider Man Approves |