The sound of the water sung to her like a lullaby.
From the cliff tops, Anna could see for miles. Houses miniaturized to dots of brown and grey on the landscape. The gulls, circling a shoal of fish miles from the coastline, appeared like specks of dust on the pale blue and yellow horizon.
She breathed in the moist, salty air, feeling her chest tighten, her lungs compress. All the beauty that surrounded Anna couldn't stop the ache she felt in her heart, the pounding in her head.
The woman felt her feet sink slowly into the soft mud beneath the grass.
'Rooted to the spot' she thought as she watched a nearby gannet swoop the inky waters for its prey.
Anna liked the sea. She liked the way it whirled and eddied around the rocks in the shallows. That in the deepest parts of the ocean, the water appeared to be black with shadows and mystery. She felt the water reflected her own turmoiled mind.
The drive here had been spontaneous. The final straw had been something so insignificant, Anna had trouble to recall what is was. She simply took her coat from the peg, gently closed the door behind her, got into the car and left. It had been that easy.
The woman had driven for hours, not knowing her exact destination but somehow drawn here, to the sea and its endless tide. The white cliff tops offering her a spectacular panorama, the dramatic setting sun distracting her from her own thoughts, if only for a moment. It had not been her intention to travel so far and she could barely remember any of her journey.
Her tears had long since dried and left charcoal streaks down her pale cheeks. Her anger, her despair, had subsided into a numbness which swept over her entire body.
Anna ran her fingers through her windswept hair. She smelled the faint scent of her coconut shampoo. The sweet fragrance brought memories flooding back of their last holiday abroad together, years ago now. Faint specters in her mind, hazy images of golden sandy beaches and sparkling ocean.
Biting her lip, Anna swallowed hard, trying to rid herself of these thoughts. No, she couldn't allow herself to think like this, not now. Not of her children. Her bright, beautiful children. Not really children anymore.
Her gaze fell upon a clump of thrift, it's delicate lilac flowers swaying in the sea breeze. The woman was astounded something that looked so fragile could survive such a hostile environment.
Her legs felt leaden as she stepped closer to the edge. The sun was setting now, the clouds turning violent shades of purple, orange and pink.
When they had met, she was sure he had loved her. A deep, passionate love. A tender lover. As the years ticked by, Anna's feelings had never changed, only increased in intensity. It was little things at first, Anna noticed now, reflecting. The change had crept upon her so stealthily it had taken her years to realise the truth. By then, it was too late. Things had deteriorated acutely once Anna accepted this was the beginning of a long drawn out end. She gave up trying to please, doing anything seldom gave her pleasure. Some days her depression consumed her in a blackness she hoped she would not wake from.
She became immune to his cruelty, his meanness. He had hurt her enough and he could hurt her no more. Anna felt dead inside.
The sunset faded away into night and the woman began to feel the cold biting at her face and hands.
Across the water, she spotted a line of boats, trawlers hauling in the days catch, their lights illuminating a black, forbidding sea. The ligthouse below, a red and white beacon guiding the men safely back to shore, it's spotlight searching the ocean as if looking for lost souls.
She had felf so unaware of everything recently. So scared of the future. She could see no future. Everything was out of her control.
Anna took one last look around at the sky and sea. Closing her eyes tightly, shutting herself away from the world around her, she silently stepped forward off the edge of the cliff and plunged into the darkness below.
rating: 9
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