imagined defeat / real victory
the preemptive victory is felt deep inside
of a battle not yet waged, but imagined.
it is heartache of what's left to come,
and of memories remaining to come undone
as i spiral around the drain of doubt
and let my thoughts go down with the water.
how many times do i feel the pain
from my past and still i allow it to last
as something to handicap my present?
will i listen to this lesson learned,
or will i run blind and let it turn
again into a reality undesired?
here is my past, my present, all in one,
yearning for more than polyamorous love,
but settling instead with a companion cube
ready to give everything but commitment.
am i more than this? is it less than love?
will i drown in desire while he laughs from above?
while i impatiently sit here and daydream away,
ready and eager for another fuckin' escape
from the inevitableness i manifest
every time i think i fall in love...
~Gwendolyn R Sowa, (c)2009
rating: 9
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