There's been a lot of hype for this recent movie, "Twilight." The promotional machine has stamped images of the two main characters all over the place in the last two months, attempting to cash in. Unfortunately, I've been hearing about this for far longer than that...
The film is based on the book by the same name, written by Stephanie Meyers. The first of a four book series, the novels were originally aimed at a teen audience, but it seems by the end of her series they had matured. It was a wonderful marketing strategy, blending the fading lore of Anne Rice with those readers now finished with Harry Potter books. The whole premise is supposed to be unisex, but let's be honest; it's all incredibly gay.
Quote from my brother's friend: "That 'Twilight' shit is like crack for girls."
My neighbor, The Skinny Blonde, has been obsessed with the series now for over a year. It didn't help once she found out our other mutual neighbor, my younger brother's girlfriend, is also a huge fan. And, much in the fashion of drug addicts, they've been pushing these books off onto everyone around them now for some time. I had no desire to read them, but promised The Skinny Blonde that I would go with her to see the damned movie.
She, of course, wanted to go to the midnight premiere but the roads were atrocious. We decided on an early show come Friday (today) in the afternoon. After braving the weather, fighting over who would buy the popcorn and the projector breaking during the Previews (HAHA!!!), we finally got into the film.
**sigh**
The basic premise is a love story. Bella moves to Washington state, one of the most rainy & cloudy areas of America, because her mother has remarried and she wants her mom to have a fresh start. The town she moves to has a population slightly over 3000 and her father is the sheriff, a Native American Reservation near by. Already ill at ease, she tries to make friends and fit in. Then she meets Edward Cullen.
Edward is one of the five Cullen adopted (or Foster?) children of Dr. Carlyle Cullen and his wife. In a strange turn, the other four make up 'couples'; Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmit. They're a strange, rich family that mostly keep to themselves on the edge of town. Edward and Bella immediately fall into some type of love/hate relationship, one that grows increasingly complex as Edward saves her life twice.
Bella eventually figures out that Edward is a vampire, as is the rest of his family. Although he was turned in 1918, he has been a 17 year old ever since. So, a lot of lovely sweet stuff happens between the young couple as a series of murders begin to plague the town. Eventually, a trio of rogue vampires meet up with the Cullen family as they're playing baseball in the rain (actually a pretty cool scene) and one of them sets his sights on Bella.
Running - action - action - bleeding - running - battle - fire
The young couple make it out barely alive, the antagonist is set up for future films, everybody goes to the prom and the Werewolves are foreshadowed. Hooray.
It's not that this was a bad movie. Actually, I think it was a pretty great date flick. There were some scenes that just, well... went on for too long. YES, we know the actors playing Edward and Bella are ridiculously beautiful. Thank You. Could you show us another drawn out camera shot of one of them suffering again? I mean, so much time was dedicated to visually objectifying Kristen Stewart (Bella) and Robert Pattinson (Edward) that it almost got embarrassing. At least it detracted from the pacing of the film, in my opinion. Any other bitches I have about "Twilight" come primarily from what source material was used. I simply can't understand why Stephanie Meyers choose to do some of the things she did with characters and plot...
... like, to the point that I still have no desire to read any of the books.
I tell you this, however. When we walked out at the end of the film around 4:30pm, there was a line stretching all the way outside the movie theater for people coming to see the next viewing. I think I actually saw one chick vibrating with excitement. They planned on showing the film in two theaters; it wasn't going to be enough.
Like crack for girls, indeed.
rating: 0
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