| Monica Fell submitted 2009.03.23 01:13 PM by OathMeal viewed 447 times | |||||
| A brown styrofoam cup time has chipped at the rim Keeps the strangers' change together, held by fingers long and thin The weathered woman sighs, sitting alone in the park Quietly she weeps counting regrets through the dark Dawn breaks softly and its new light stings the eyes Of Monica Alper, homeless white female, age sixty-five The birds and the businessmen both spring from their hiding The woman draws her pen and her paper; a clear mind begins writing Things weren't always this way for this failed life in dismay Thoughts trickle out now of memories that can't be erased What exactly went wrong is remarkably clear Though not cared for today, her words fall on deaf ears So a tired, spiral notebook plays canvas for words Writ in blue ink, the color a parallel to her hurt As the fog lifts slowly from the drab cityscape Monica scribbles on what will be the book's only missing page "Sixteen and dreaming somewhere in Maine" she slowly writes "Aced all my classes, entered college and found Christ" "Majored in finance, got a man, a car and all that..." Tears well in her eyes as the story turns black The morning sky ripens to blue and the streets burst with new life The woman scratches a spot on her back, using a plastic butter knife Taxis start honking and cops start chatting over coffee A new day has broke, as has the heart of Monica, softly She returns to her writing and ignores the many glances Of those walking by, their polished lives so enchanted "A day would come soon from which there was no going back" And soon she began detailing her addiction to crack "At the time I got hooked, my daughter was five" Before she got any further she took a moment to cry A stranger en route to a meeting across town Finds a quarter in his pocket and tosses it down Monica manages a smile for the man dressed in gray Who just nods and proceeds briskly along on his way The woman takes a brief moment to use the back of her hand To make waste of the tears as best as she can "After trying so hard..." her threshold of pain at it's limit, "My husband intervened, I was admitted to a clinic." "6 weeks of therapy...oh the pain," she wrote with a frown "That insult they call methodone - was all I was allowed" And she continued to describe, with painful detail How hard she fought for her life - blood, sweat, tooth and nail As the day draws on and the mounting sorrow she feels mounts She gets the compulsion that morning to end her days in that town Monica stands smartly from her stoop near the stairs And abandons her bags, shaking the sand from her hair She tears from her notebook, the page she had written And crushes it into a ball, concealed in her mitten "There isn't room for me here now, no...not with this past" She thinks to herself as she walks through the grass The page from her notebook still clenched in her fist She makes a beeline to where the nearest train station is "Here's to you, Jack - I'm sorry I failed you" She whispers to herself under a signed marked, "Rail 2" "I did what I could and still ended up here" And at that very moment, Monica released all her fears Standing upright with her dignity's remains All pooled together, she hears the oncoming train With a final, frim grip on the ball of paper she held She smiled as she stepped, and to the end Monica fell. | |||||
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