It is 3 hours ago. I am sitting at a podium, I am talking to men with powerful ties, that can shape my career. I am thinking about these men.
It is 8 years ago. I am in high school. I am winning a playoff game. I am scoring 30 points, I am passing the ball, and I am committing a foul. I turn to a man. One man. One mic. One power. I see him typing away on his laptop. I see him winking at me. I see him mouthed "you're a champ". I see him laughing. I feel sweat drip down. I hear a ball shoot to the corner, to me. I feel myself lift my body. I feel the ball in my hands. I see my teammate upcourt. I run faster than everyone else, and hit the game winner. I hear the buzzer. I hear cheers. I turn to see the man. He's walking away, shaking his head. He's laughing.
He sees me now. "You're a champ" he says. "You're just making a living", he knows.
It's 6 years ago. I am in College. Second year. I am being a team player. I am watching people throw up hand singals that mean nothing to me, everything to them. I am down. I am shoot poorly. I am being yelled at. I am being told I am better than this. I am doubting the fact that I want to be better than this moment. I walk back to the court, angry. I head bump a boy that's wearing opposite colors. He falls to the floor. Blood pours from my head. I smile. I look up at the lights, and I raise my hands. I raise them and the place grows loud. They cheer me on. I laugh, I jump. I get thrown out of the game. Almost. Before I leave, I pull the boy up. He is confused, dazed. I pull him in and hug him. I whisper something to him.
"I'm a champ. I'm just making a living bro"
He smiles. He laughs at me. He sees me walk away and shrugs his head. He shakes himself off, and he gets taken out of the rest of the game. So am I. But I'm the hero. He knows what I'm doing. So do I. We both hate it. But he knows I have to be me tomorrow.
It's 2 hours ago. I am changing. I am drenched in sweat. I am wearing a winner's colors, feeling good. I laugh, I smile. Coach comes to me. He asks me if I did my best, I tell him no. He gets it. He tells me not to kill myself tonight. He winks. He knows I would.
It's 1 hour ago. I leave the building, get home, have sex with my super model, actress wife. To celebrate. She turns to me and says she loves me. I turn to her with more love than I have ever felt, and tell her I love her. I do. I love her alot. But she leaves. She has a shoot, in the morning. She has a new tape to film. She's gone. 30 minutes ago.
it's 4 years ago. I am drafted. I am walking to meet my future bosses. I am walking to see my future. I am sitting back down. everyone is grabbing me. I am happy. I look happy, at least.
It's 2 years ago. I meet my wife. She's interviewing me. I am taking her to dinner. I am fucking her, 1 year, 30 days, and 1 hour ago. She leaves 1 year, 28 days later. I leave to practice. I have a bad shooting day. I am benched that night.
It's 1 year ago. I'm facing a veteran. He's been playing since I was 10. I am now 20. He's been here 10 years, he knows my moves. I play them anyway. I beat him. I run into him. I throw my body. He's just a boy to me. He falls to the ground. I am not at home. I hear boos. Opposite colors surround me. They want to kill me. I laugh at them. I yell "I'm just making a living". They back off. I'm sitting in the back. I watch my team lose. I vow to never do that again.
It's 80 games ago. I score 47 points. I become a starter. 30 games, I'm an all-star.
It's the playoffs. I'm a champion.
It's 10 minutes ago. I go to my cabinet and look at my awards. I walk around my mansion. I laugh.
"it's all a joke."
I mutter. I grab a pistol. I wait for someone to text me. No one does. They sleep. It's now 4 am. They sleep. they smile, they dream of being me.
I question the notion.
I ask you now.
"Once you're me, what else can you be?"
I come to the conclusion, I can only be God now. I can never surpass this moment. I have kids, I have wives, I have lovers, I have friends. I have it all. I don't want it. It's all a joke. I just want to stop. I want to be happy.
I want to laugh not because "it's a living"
I want to laugh because it's euphoria. It's not. It's all one big tease.
I put the pistol to my throat. I pull the trigger.
It's 2 minutes ago. I hear a click. I hear another click...
It's 30 seconds ago. I laugh for one last time. I laugh so hard I fall asleep.
It's 2 years ago. It's 3 hours before I met my wife. A friend of mine is calling me. I'm in a gun store, buying a gun. I am distracted.
He says there is a supermodel that wants to meet me. That wants to talk to me.
He says her name is goddess. I laugh and walk out the gun store. I didn't remember what the man said until 15 seconds ago.
"SON! YOU FORGOT TO GET THE BULLETS!!!!"
It's 4 seconds ago. I'm laying down. It's now.
I'm asleep. It's you reading this story, 10 minutes later. It's you 10 minutes, 10 seconds later.
It all meant shit. Waste of time.
It's me tomorrow. I'm laughing at you. Fucker.
rating: 7
Users that liked this also liked...
 Sun and Moon Mosaic |  Six Year Story |  True: Colors (orange) |  Koran 9:11- Are We Really This Retarded? |  What ever became of William Ward? |