"I can't answer that for you, because what is right for me isn't necessarily what is right for you."
She stood there in silence. She had come here for guidance, for answers. She didn't know if she should pull the trigger or not. She was afraid of what everyone would think, of what her friends and family would tell her when they found out. I didn't care one way or another, and I was very perplexed as to why she even came to me for the right answer.
Sure, I had held the gun in my hand once, but my choice was to let it go, to put down the weapon and work with what I had been given. I cherished my gift, and she was unsure how to feel about it. I never doubted my decision for a second; I knew what I wanted, who I was, and I believed in myself and where I wanted to be in life. I may have gotten there, I may still be headed that way or down a different road, but I was sure that my gift would only enhance my journey. She felt her gift would only hinder where she was going. She wanted what she had been given, but not right now, at this moment, when her plans for her life were going so well. None of us know when we'll be called to arms, when we'll be given what we ultimately want. Some people say "go with the flow", I say "embrace the waves".
She looked at me again, with sad eyes, hoping my mouth would tell her the exact thing she wanted to hear. The problem was that the right words were a lie, I would not lie to her and tell her "this is just a dream" because it was not. It was a very real nightmare for her. For me it was just a Sunday night, a night that had been interrupted by a girl I had once considered a lover and a friend, and now she was nothing to me, honestly. I wouldn't be fazed by her decision, one way or another. It didn't matter because she had made me not matter in her life and I had moved on. I wanted to help her, be with her, save her, at one point. She rejected that, she tossed me aside and went on with her life.
Now, as that life was crumbling all around her, as her fate hinged on the mercy of what others would help her with, I had no choice but to let her save herself. No one really wants help from me until there's nothing I can help them with, it's a sad fact I've come to realize.
"How much time do you have before it's too late?"
"I don't know, a few days maybe. I don't even know if I have the money for something like this, it's all just so sudden I didn't know this would happen..."
"Yes, you did. Do you want me to be honest with you, to tell you what I really think?"
"Please, I need something right now..."
"You are worrying about the wrong thing. At this point, you can't change what's happened. The act has been committed, the perpetrator and you must both realize that this is a victimless crime unless you don't act with your heart and your mind, together. If you keep the gift, you must be willing to see that you are adding something to your life, not sacrificing anything. If you think that by accepting you are imprisoning, you must destroy it."
"I know, I understand, but what if it's too late, what if I can't get rid of it?"
"I'm worried about that comment, not because you want to get rid of it, but because you ask me such a silly question. You know that answer. If it's too late you take what has happen and you embrace it; embrace life and cherish the gift. It's important to never say 'what if this had not happened' and honestly think for a second that the gift is actually a punishment. You didn't mind taking the risk in asking, so don't mind taking the wish now that it's come true."
"I'm going to ask him, I'm going to talk to him and see what he wants."
"It doesn't matter really, it should be what you want; you and I both know what that is, just realize it may be too late for that and be ready whatever happens. There is no right answer, only what is right for you and what you do with it."
"I know. Thanks for trying to help."
"No problem."
With that, my friend got up and went to see her boyfriend. I never heard from her again, so I never found out if she went through with the abortion.
rating: 5
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